We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
