Me too!
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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