I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
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So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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