you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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