well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
