There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
