last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize