Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
