You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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