She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
