It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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