I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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