when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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