I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
