i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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