Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
