just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
