And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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