is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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