No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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