I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
