I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
operation harelip BJ is a go
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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