so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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