that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize