Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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