Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
