He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my being single is dangerous.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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