I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
