i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
