Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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