Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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