I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
