we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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