Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
