Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
