Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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