garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize