My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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