Where did you get a picture of my penis
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
