My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
