Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
