Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
