Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
