3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
