can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
