i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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