JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This baby is an asshole
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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