Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
