the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
