Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
