I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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