at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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