You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
