we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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