Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize