honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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