I want to stick my p in your. b.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
