We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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