We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
