She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
