Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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